


Love, Friendship and everything in Between

by ChocolateWords



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Out Of Character I Think (?), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 07:12:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateWords/pseuds/ChocolateWords
Summary: What do you do when you can no longer hide the feelings you've tried so hard to lock up inside?





	Love, Friendship and everything in Between

**Author's Note:**

> I have always wanted to try writing a fic but never had the courage to do so, but thanks to [introvertedbibliophile28](http://introvertedbibliophile28.tumblr.com/) I finally made one. you can check her out on tumblr, she also writes fanfics here on AO3 which I recommend you read.  
> 
> 
> this is my first fic, there might be a lot of mistakes but I'll try to improve. 

SUGAWARA'S POV 

“D-Daichi I l-love you!” 

The sun was setting and the summer breeze was cold against my skin yet my body was warm, my face flushed in red, and I just said the words I never thought I’d say to my childhood friend. I shouldn’t be telling him this, this should have been my secret. Yet here I am spilling everything in front of him. Feelings I desperately tried so hard to lock up inside, came rushing out in an instant. 

Today started out like any other day. Classes in the morning, club activities in the afternoon and lastly, my favorite part, my daily walks with Daichi. The time where I can have him for myself, even for a while as we go home. I know it’s pretty selfish of me to think that way, but with our current relationship, this is one of the things that I have, the most I can get away with, without him noticing the way I feel. And everything was supposed to stay that way, nothing was supposed to change. But I just had to ruin everything by confessing. 

After saying our goodbyes to the others, we took our usual mountain side route. Passing by these familiar trees and structures that I have seen countless of times in the neighborhood that we grew up in. I felt the cool summer breeze touch my cheeks as I watched twilight coax the starts of the sky while the sun lazily enters its slumber, painting the horizon with a vibrant orange. I was too engrossed by the ambiance of it all to notice the growing silence between me and Daichi. I tried to steal a glance at the person beside me, only to find myself staring at him. He looks deep in thought as his calloused fingers softly pinch the tip of his chin while he ponders. 

“Suga?” Daichi asked while slightly tilting his head in my direction. 

“Hai!” I answered rather too quickly, wondering if he caught me starring. 

“I was just thinking…..” 

“Mmm?” 

“Have you ever been in love?” 

I fell silent for a few seconds, surprised by the question. Not knowing how to answer it. I never thought he’d ask that. “H-how about you? “ I shot back at him to avoid his inquiry. ”Have you been in love?” 

“Ha? I asked you first!” Daichi retorted. 

“You did,” I say “but now I’m asking you.” I added while playfully elbowing his side. 

“I asked first.” 

“I’m a gentleman, so ladies first.” I teased. 

“Suga.” 

“Daichi.” 

After a few seconds of silence while staring at each other, both of us chuckled in unison at our silly squabble. These are the kind of moments that I cherish the most, it’s these silly little moments that make me wish we’d never reach our destination. 

“In all seriousness,” he says, while staring up at the sky smiling gently. “Have you ever liked someone?” 

“What brought this sudden curiosity about love?” I asked back, dodging his question. 

“I don’t know,” he said. Closing his eyes as he folds his arms to his chest as if he was thinking. “It just crossed my mind…I think?” he reasoned, sounding unsure. “And wait, I know what you’re doing, Stop changing the topic, I’m supposed to be the one asking questions here”. 

“Busted.” I giggled. 

“So?” 

“So’ What?” 

“Don’t play koi with me, the person you like, I’m asking about the person you like!” Daichi demanded, placing both his hand on my shoulders looking me right in the eyes. 

I could feel my face turning crimson red. I tried to resist, but he was staring at me so intently I couldn’t handle it. “Okay okay,” I surrendered, avoiding his gaze. I paused for a few seconds trying to think of what to say. “W-well, the person I like is a third year like us…b-both of us know this person well and, and this person is also really nice.” I confess vaguely. Still not looking at him. 

“You like Asahi!?” exclaimed Daichi in unbelief as he released his grip from my shoulders. 

“Asa-What?!” I quickly retorted. “NO!” 

“He perfectly fits your description!” 

“He’s a guy! Wouldn’t Shimizu be a more reasonable guess?” 

“Does it even matter? And you’ve absolutely got zero chances with Shimizu, so I was left with the next option.” he argued 

“Harsh!” I yelled. “Besides, why are you so interested in the first place?” 

He grinned. “I’m your best friend, shouldn’t I be the first person to know these kind of things?” 

“Well I’m your best friend,” I protested. “The same rule should apply to me, so spill.” 

He scratched the back of his head. Unsure of what to say. “I would.” He muttered, while looking down at his feet. “I really would, but” he paused. 

“But’ what?” 

He smiled sadly before replying. “But you know, I’ve never had someone like that, I mean maybe do, but I don’t really know, love is really confusing to me.” 

"Oh"

“But I want to.” he added, “I know this is really silly since I have little to no idea what love is, but I want to, you know…fall in love. I want to know what it’s like, to experience it myself. I know I already have my hands full with club activities, and it’s really fun playing with you all, but sometimes I can’t help but feel that something’s missing.” 

We fell silent, both of us contemplating. I never knew that he had these kind of thoughts, that he was longing for love just as much as I was, he seemed so preoccupied with volleyball to even think about love. I turn to look at him as we walk. His face, handsome against the orange glow of the sinking sun. “I really love him” I say to myself. If only he knew. 

I want to tell him, but I know better. There's too much at risk. 

Growing up beside him, we shared everything, and the memories I have with him, the good ones, the embarrassing ones, even the stupid ones, our arguments, our inside jokes, our secrets, I treasure it all. And playing volleyball with him, seeing him, guy I love grow up to the wonderful person he is today, and walking beside him now, being with him in this moment, this should be enough. Being his best friend should be enough, because I know that’s all I ever will be. It hurts, but that’s reality. 

I’ve thought of this many times before. Playing it again and again inside my head, trying to convince myself that it’s hopeless. Cause one day he’ll find someone, and I’ll watch him fall in love with her. She’ll be the luckiest girl in the world, and Daichi will be the happiest guy. She’ll make him smile, make him laugh, hold his hand, feel his lips against hers, go on dates, she’ll be able to love him freely, openly, and so much more. She will have everything I ever wanted. And as his best friend, I’ll be happy for him. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much it kills me. I’ll just have to continue smiling for him and lock up these feelings inside and stop them from leaking out, cause as long as he’s happy, it will all be worth it. That was my conclusion. 

But looking at him now, I feel my resolve waver. I cant continue like this. 

I know Its selfish, it’s stupid, it’s crazy, it’s dumb. I know, but I want to tell him. before I give up, he has to know. I might lose him, he might hate me, he might not want to see me anymore, I know all the consequences. But despite all that, these feelings I’ve tried so hard to hide, I want him to know all of them. 

No more secretes, no more lies. 

“Suga. What’s it lik-” 

“I love you!” I blurt out. 

“Huh?” 

I could feel the heat of my reddening face as I grasped the weight of my words. As nervousness took over, I could feel my heartbeat pounding rapidly inside my chest, I tried clenching my fists, however it was not enough to stop them from trembling. After what I said, there was no turning back. Despite the lump in my throat, my sweaty palms and the obvious reddening of my face, I closed my eyes and hoped for the best. 

“D-Daichi I l-love you!” 

\----------------- 

DAICHI'S POV 

I stare in astonishment as my best friend confess his feelings to me for the second time. My mind, still in shambles as I try to let the information sink in. I don’t know what to say. Questions enter my mind one after another, Suga loves me? Since when? How long has he been keeping this from me? Why didn’t I notice? 

“I-I know this is really sudden,” he added. ”but I-I couldn’t tell Daichi because I was afraid you’d a-avoid me or come to h-hate me, and I didn’t want that t-to happen. I know things might ch-change between us after this. But, but a part of me still hopes, that I might have a ch-chance” 

His shaking, trying to hold back his tears. 

He lowered his head into his palms.“I-I tried to put an end to it…..Daichi I tried my best. But it was too di-difficult.” His voice breaking at the last word. 

as tears started streaming down his face I felt a pang in my chest. 

“The more I tell myself to stop, to-to be satisfied with what I have, the more I find myself wanting more, at-at the back of my mind, I-I know I shouldn’t and that its wrong in so many ways. But- but I couldn’t, each day I spend with you I find myself falling even deeper. I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with my best friend.” 

I try to say something, anything. But my mouth just hangs open like I’ve forgotten how to speak. 

I don’t want to see him like this, it pains me to watch him cry. I should be comforting him, but I’m the reason he’s like this. I should be making him laugh but here I am hurting him with silence. Despite knowing that, I am still at loss for words. I like Suga, I really do, but I don’t know if my like is the same as his. Suga has been with me my entire life, and I’m so used to him being there by my side, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He has always been a constant in my life, so I never really gave it too much thought. But now I am suddenly facing a situation where my response would decide whether I lose him or not. The sincerity in his voice, I can feel it, he’s serious. About me, about what he said, about everything. I can’t respond to his heartfelt feelings with my half-assed one. I hate myself for being so indecisive, because I know it’s hurting him but I’d never forgive myself if I lie to him either. I can only think of one thing to say I know it will probably hurt him, but I don’t know what else to say. I need time to think, to figure things out, to know how I feel. 

“Suga I-.” 

“Yo-you don’t have to answer me right away” he said with a sad smile. “I-I just wanted you to know, I can wait. take your time.” 

I was surprised with his sudden interruption, but I managed to nod silently in response. I'm a horrible person for feeling this way, but I felt relieved when I heard those words come out of his mouth. 

silence filled the air between us 

The sun has already set telling us its time to go, but neither of us were willing to move. I look at him, despite the dim glow of the moon above us I could still see his face all flushed in red, eyes still wet from the tears, and nervously looking down avoiding eye contact. The summer breeze blew once more, waking us both from our trance. Without a word we continued our way back home with him awkwardly following silently behind me. 

Shortly after that, we said our goodbyes as we reached his house. Leaving me with my thoughts. I know I took a lot of courage for him to confess to me, it wasn't easy, but he did it. He was so sure about how he felt. 

how about me? 

I’ve been mulling over it the entire way home that I didn’t even notice that I was already a few blocks pass my house. Turning around with a heavy sigh, I run. 

I stagger as I enter the darkness of my room. Not even bothering to turn on the lights I drop my bag on the floor and made my way towards my bed, it creaked as I flopped on it. With only the light outside my window illuminating the room I lay there, staring blankly at the dimness of the ceiling exhausted from everything that happened. A part of me wishes that this is all a dream and I’ll wake up and everything would be back to normal. But of course that’s not happening. 

“Ugh! This is so confusing!” 

Up until recently I had no interest in love, let alone know if I am in love. And that’s not even the worst of my problems, if ever I do end up liking him back the way he likes me. What then? Should I start going out with him? But that also means going on dates, holding his hand, kissing hi- 

I pause at the idea of it. 

Can I even kiss Suga? 

“No.” I say firmly trying to convince myself. 

Maybe? 

Closing my eyes, I try to imagine what it’s like cupping his flushed face with my hands, feeling him tremble in anticipation and nervousness and feeling his warm soft lips against mine, hearing him moan my name in between breaths as I slowly deepen the kiss, and t- 

STOP! 

Realizing where my thoughts were taking me, I quickly open my eyes to stop whatever I was thinking or going to think next. I could feel the heat rise up to my face. 

No! 

Impossible! 

I can’t! 

He’s your best friend, what the heck are you thinking? With a groan, I furiously scratch the back of my head in frustration. 

“This is taking me nowhere!” 

Rolling at my side, I was startled to see my dog sitting beside my bed looking at me like I was insane. Starring back at him, I asked. “Why is love so complicated?” 

He tilted his head questioningly in response. 

Great! Maybe I really am insane, I’m consulting my dog about my love life! I need to get some fresh air to cool down my head. Getting up, I grabbed the yellow leash that was hanging at the wall of my dimly lit room. 

“What do you think Milkshake? Want to go out for a jog?” 

He looked at me and wagged his tail excitedly. 

**Author's Note:**

> uhm...so how was it?...
> 
>  
> 
> I'd really love to hear what all of you think, so please dont hesitate to comment down below or message me on [tumblr](http://randombookgeek.tumblr.com/).


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